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Sexy After Cancer

Posted by Manuela Boyle on 13 June 2021
Sexy After Cancer
The speed at which your head spins upon getting a cancer diagnosis eventually stops. You right your course, you hold your head up and barrel through invasive tests, treatment and surgeries. You may lose body parts. You may go into "I don't care just get it out of me" mode. You may cry, break things, and climb under the covers for as long as you can withstand not having to eat or pee. It's all normal and it's all okay. There is no right or wrong way to deal with cancer.

There will be a time when you will go shopping or out to lunch.

Perhaps you'll make time for a quick mani-pedi with a friend or enjoy the solitude of sipping a cup of coffee alone in a café. In pieces, it comes back: a subtle reminder of the complete person you were before cancer.

Sexual intimacy is the last piece of the puzzle to fit into place.

The words sexuality and cancer, when used together, are an oxymoron. How can you possibly feel desirable or attractive when you've been chopped up and put back together?  Add that to the extensive surgical recovery the indignities of chemotherapy: nausea, mouth sores and both diarrhea and constipation. If you need radiation you may have to deal with extreme fatigue and often painful burns and blisters. Good times? No. Sexy times? Not even close.

There can be many nights of simply snuggling, holding each other and talking. For lubrication, try coconut oil, 

Most importantly, listen to your body and to each other. Remember, your partner may be terrified of hurting your newly scarred and reconstructed body as well. Talk through your fears and your feelings. Explain your needs and the ways your body has changed. 


Author:Manuela Boyle
Tags:NewsResourcesBreast Cancer


  • The Institute for Functional Medicine
  • Society for Integrative Oncology
  • American Society of Clinical Oncology
  • Australian Traditional-Medicine Society
  • Naturopaths and Herbalists Association of Australia